Skip to main content

tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  April 8, 2013 11:00pm-11:30pm PDT

11:00 pm
captioning by captionmax from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. tonight's guest is a good one. here's what we've got. we've got david stockman is on the show. we're very excited. he's got some cures for what ales the american economy. spoiler alert. $5 trillion coin. that will do it. because one, what is that going to do? traditionally the president of the united states submits a budget detailing spending priorities in february. it is april.
11:01 pm
the president has yet to deliver. most likely taking great care given the enormous stakes, wanting to fine tune this budget to get it just right. it could go... >> dead on arrival. that is the early verdict from house republicans about president obama's budget proposal. >> jon: noooo! it can't be dead. they sent me one. no air holes in it. i'm sure it's fine. i'm sure... noooo! not today, budget. not today. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: why, these are just scripts for the photocopied budget cover. i've been lying to everybody. all right. but that's just it.
11:02 pm
the right doesn't like anything obama does. how does the left feel >> furious democrats upset about entitlements >> very disappointed. that is one big pile of [bleep]. >> jon: well, the senator from jurassic park is correct. so finally barack obama brings republicans and democrats together in shared dislike. the president's mow joe seems to be fading. even his jump shot seems to be gone. the brick layer in chief recently going 2-for-22 on his home court. i don't want to say anything, but someone is laughing at him right now. "even i can lay up. i mean, come on." can obama regain his mow joe on the fund-raising circuit? >> president obama is getting some heat for his comments about
11:03 pm
california attorney general kamala harrison at a fund-raiser last night. the president said she's brilliant, dedicated and tough and also happens to be by far the best-looking attorney general. >> jon: the president shoots. he... two things. one, i know we're all excited for madmen to be back but that's no time to go draper. and, two, the best-looking attorney general really? are you trying to make dell a bear a.g. beau biden cry? is that what you're trying to do? i don't know if hearts are coming out of my eyes but they should be. i can't even imagine what the first lady must be thinking >> believe me. as a busy single mother -- or i shouldn't say single.
11:04 pm
>> jon: all right. i mean, i shouldn't... i'm sorry. i shouldn't say single. i mean divorced. available. i mean. i'm sorry. i'm tired of being married. i mean, no. obviously we're kidding here. there's no trouble in their relationship. the commander in cool isn't going to be going anywhere. he can get back in good graces by going into the al green mode. ♪ so in love with you >> jon: at least he's still got beau. you know, it's amazing to think how far this president has fallen. hope and change demagogue to apparently will smith from "i am legend." now on the opposite side of the mow joe track, gay marriage continues to rack up supporters >> the latest democratic senator mark warner. >> reversed his-situation to same sex marriage
11:05 pm
>> north carolina's kay hagan heidi heitkamp and joe donnelly >> hillary clinton senator claire mccaskill tom carper one of the last remaining democrats silent on same sex marriage has just endorsed it putting it up on his face book page >> jon: they interpreted carper's facebook page because of the sign of supporter. he was supporting pause button awareness. he flipped it. also an important issue. it may seem like all the democrats are rushing to get on the side of gay marriage with a break neck pace of passengers disembarking [bleep] encrusted cruise ship. whenever a democrat talks about a change of heart they tend to put it on a more epic time scale >> with respect to the issue of whether gays and lesbians should be able to get married, my feelings about this are constantly evolving >> tim johnson says he backs same sex marriage >> mark warner of virginia who says his views have evolved
11:06 pm
>> jon: they're referring to charles darwin's theory of gay evolution. it's what led ultimately to darwin's ground-breaking evolution of gay marriage acceptance chart. that's illegal. god hates you. god hates you but will and grace is entertaining. how about a civil union? congratulations, mr. and mr mr. smith. ( cheers and applause ) obviously those are democrats. you cannot ask republicans to embrace both gay marriage and evolution in one go. interesting fact. more americans now support gay marriage than believe in evolution. so what would it take for republicans to change their mind? >> republican senator mark kirk of illinois says he now supports same sex marriage saying, quote, our time on this earth is limited. i know that better than most. >> senator kirk referring to his amazing recovery from a stroke. >> jon: it would take a catastrophic brain injury.
11:07 pm
is there a gentler means of persuasion that doesn't include cerebral clotting >> portman learns his son is gay. >> jon: senator portman learned his other son derek is female. now senator portman supports equal pay for women. of course, having a family member who is gay is not going to work on everybody. >> arizona congressman matt salmon said the fact that his son is gay does not change his view of same sex marriage >> i don't support the gay marriage as far as believing in my heart that we should change 2,000 years of social policy in favor of a redefinition of the family. i'm not there. >> jon: he certainly earned the mug that he got this year for christmas. yes, representative salmon
11:08 pm
believes men and women should reproduce as generations of his people have throughout history, by swimming hundreds of miles upstream, spraying their sperm into ice cold water, flipping pçblm$dd t![8d",zm,xn9u(
11:09 pm
11:10 pm
11:11 pm
welcome back. earlier in this program, we saw how politicians can evolve seemingly overnight. sadly not all species can keep up with our rapidly changing world. jessica williams has more. >> reporter: habitat destruction. it's pushed thousands of earth's plants and animals to the brink of extinction including one of mower most beloved species >> in china they were cutting the bamboo forest. they were cutting the habitat of the panda. the panda was going to be extinct. this is also happening on a different scale with the pubic lice >> reporter: the what? pubic lice reporter: sadly our changing grooming habits are responsible for the pubic louse's decline. >> people are getting bikini waxes and are removing genital hair. it's very much like defor he is taition >> reporter: just as the expansion of logging operations have knollished much of the world's rain forest, wax and
11:12 pm
burn techniques have threatened the eco-system of the pubic lice up to 80%. what's the ideal habitat for pubic lice to thrive >> some place warm, moist and with some hair floating around >> reporter: in order to save it, i should start on my own pubic hair >> yes reporter: i'm going to start doing that right now. once my reserve blossoms into a lush sanctuary, i'll be able to breed pubic life in captivity to release into the wild. where do i even find specimens? this doctor believes the species is still flourishing in one of america's last pristine eco-systems, the pubic lice paradise known as baltimore >> in baltimore we haven't seen much decrease. we got a lot of, you know, people who, you know,... john waters type >> what do you mean john waters'
11:13 pm
type? >> you may have seen types of folks you may have seen, you know, in some of the john waters' movies. you know, who, you know,... >> reporter: but even critically acclaimed film makers understand that the pubic louse is becoming a relic of a by-gone area >> 20, 30 years everybody had crabs. i don't hear about anybody getting crabs today. it's over >> reporter: you make it sound so cool >> even romantic. reporter: romantic? yeah, because you shared something with your partner and it wasn't fatal. >> reporter: even if the crab capital baltimore doesn't have pubic lice, where on earth could we find them? >> i went to the american museum of natural history to check the collect of pubic lice they have. they have nothing. >> reporter: what? not a single specimen. reporter: it was up to us so i went to the last refuge where sexually active poorly groomed individuals roam free. brooklyn. everywhere we looked we saw a vast array of education.
11:14 pm
the natives of williams burg, untouched by first world grooming habits appeared to be ripe eco-systems for pubic lice to thrive >> can you help me find specimens of pubic lice. i'm new in town. >> reporter: see that right there? that was weird. you have to ease into it. ease into it. >> thank you. here's yours. >> thank you. so do you have pubic lice? reporter: but despite the eco-valiant efforts the fragile pubic louse have all but disappeared from this once fertile region. if we were going to save the species we need to think local but act global. ♪ >> hi, you're probably expecting
11:15 pm
sarah mclaughlin but she doesn't give a [bleep] about pubic lice. i'm amy. i do. will you an angel for a homeless pubic louse? every day they're losing their homes and they're crying out for help. call the number on your screen in the next 0 minutes and you'll receive a beautiful tote bag. your call says i'm here to help. please call. their future depends on it. >> >>
11:16 pm
11:17 pm
11:18 pm
11:19 pm
>> jon: my guest tonight, he was the budget director for president round reagan. his new book is called the great deformation, the corruption of capitalism in america. please welcome to the program david stockman. sir. ( applause ) >> jon: thank you for joining us thank you jon: the book is called the great deformation. i read this this weekend on the plane. i was going to mars.
11:20 pm
holy smokes. you basically take us back. the premise is, if i may and correct me if i'm wrong, that this country went off the track in some respect with roosevelt. that the idea of the fed and managing the economy was kind of the departure point. yes? >> well it's like a narcotic. for a while the big deficits we've had, all the money printing from the fed worked. it did stimulate the economy. we had some growth. over time it becomes habit-forming. the politicians can't live without it. vent ally it begins to... >> jon: give me some of that. it then becomes debilitating. by then -- and that's where we are when we've had the serial bubbles, the dot-com total collapse. they reflaited the bubble and everybody got on board and we had the housing boom. that was phony. the credit boom and finally wall
11:21 pm
street collapsed in 2008. they bailed it out like mad. the market collapsed. the average guy lost, you know, 50, 60%, got refried after the first time being fried. now they've reflaited it a third time. guess what? >> jon: on wall street they have we're back to where we were 4,750 days ago. if you're doing long division that's 13 years. >> jon: hold on. divide by 365. jon: you knew that before you came on here though, right? you did that in your head that's impressive >> so the point is, we're at today the same point we were at 13 years ago. main street economy has been floundering and deteriorating. these are serial bubbles that basically the fast-money, the traders, the hedge funds can ride until they think the top is coming. they get out. they invite you to get in, come on back. this time is different. get on board. and frankly i think we're in for the same kind of bubble that
11:22 pm
we've had three times already. >> jon: when i hear you describe the symptoms of a corrupt economy, i find myself nodding my head and hallelujah, i say, out loud. right? >> okay jon: on the subway. but then when i get to some of your prescriptions i think i don't see how that would be any better. i think you're a noninterventionist. would that be the proper way to describe? >> that would be true, but i'm also for free markets, not phony capitalism. the whole meltdown in september, 2008, that was a meltdown in the vertical canyons of wall street. that was where these huge gambling houses that have gotten leveraged 30 to 1, used overnight money to finance all this toxic waste would be taken to the cleaners to be cleaned out. remember, bear stearns was down. we can live without bear
11:23 pm
stearns. lehman was down. there were two left. goldman and morgan stanley. they were running the treasury. this was basically a... >> jon: that was a too big to fail. they got bailed out. >> and it wouldn't have spread to main street. that's the big argument. i call it the black berry panic. everybody in the treasury building running around looking for black berries. my god the price of goldman is dropping by the hour. must be the world... >> jon: the pillar of our economy, a foundation. >> the world has functioned just fine without goldman sachs. that's the bottom line. >> jon: i really wish you had put that in the beginning. because by the time i got there, i was hallucinating. >> okay. jon: but... the solution... jon: the whole premise of the bailout was flawed in that this crisis was not the widespread crisis. it was a contagion that would
11:24 pm
not have spread and we should have let it fail. that would have sent a message to those investors and they would have wised up... >> they wouldn't have done it again and again. there were two investment bankers >> jon: you're saying it's a moral hazard we bailed them out >> it's an outrage actually. jon: i agree with you but i think where i would depart is couldn't effective management of an economy, wouldn't simple regulation have prevented 0-to-1 leveraging in the first place and why is that something that a free market... that, you know, this sort of bust and bubble cycle can be managed? i don't understand >> recommendation number 2. reinstall. it was a huge mistake to repeal it. the point i make is the banks are not free enterprises.
11:25 pm
they're wards of the state without deposit insurance, without the ability to get free money. now remember that's supposed to help bail out the whole economy, recover the economy. >> jon: they're still doing it the news flash is the free stuff is only available to wall street. okay. the average guy on main street can't go to the fed and get 0% money. >> jon: why doesn't the fed do this? okay. we're going to make these billions of dollars available to these banks. we're going to do it at low interest but with a precondition. 50% of it has to go to businesses under $10 million, whatever. it's got to go to small businesses. if you don't loan that out, you can't just turn it over, if you don't loan it out, you don't get the rest of it? why not place that condition on them and get that liquidity back into the small main street business economy. i mean, i'm legitimately curious as to why they can't do that
11:26 pm
>> go back to the super glass eagle. i'm saying that banks who want the privilege of deposit insurance and want the privilege of the fed window can't be in trading. they can't be in speculation. they can't be money managers. they need to take deposits and make loans. if we go... >> jon: we have banks that do that >> and those banks are doing okay frankly. and people who are credit worthy are getting loans today. frankly one of the reasons our economy is growing so slow is that we had a 30-year debt bubble. everybody got up to their eyeballs in debt. households did. businesses did. so we're not going to get out of this with cheap interest rates and more borrowing. we're going to have to work our way out of this. while we're at it, we shouldn't be allowing the banks to take the huge earnings they're now making -- why? because the fed has... >> jon: 0%. they're floating them >> the fed on its foot on the neck of millions of slavers in america today.
11:27 pm
you get half a percent if you have a savings account. the deposits cost nothing. they go out and they buy... >> jon: our economy is flipped in that they now value the investment class over work. investment now is... i mean that's been 40 years, capital gains the whole thing. we have to take a break. we're going to discuss page by page the great deformation. it's on the book shelves now. you stick around and we'll talk a little... >> can we get to chapter 2 then. jon: believe me. this is no big fun.
11:28 pm
11:29 pm


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on